you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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