I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
