well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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