please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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