If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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