Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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