So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
