her vagine was all disorganized.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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