I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
