What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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