i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i wish my penis had a tongue
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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