you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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