this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
