Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
