I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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