She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
