I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
