I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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