I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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