So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
