You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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