i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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