So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you would pick up someone in the library
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
