Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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