My friends, they love my intelligence
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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