i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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