So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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