i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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