All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This show inspires me to have sex in space
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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