Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
