So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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