Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
