ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
