I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she pinky promised me she was 18
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
