She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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