After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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