she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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