problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
