glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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