I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
