I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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