Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends

Fav 16 1532 8194
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.

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(315): View more from New York

Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.

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(818): View more from California

Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.

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(831): View more from California

I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.

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(206): View more from Washington

I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me

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