he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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