i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm both gender and math confused
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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