I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
handjob tips. give me some.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
