I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
