everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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