I love how my cats smell like pot.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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