You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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