I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
