I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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