so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
