Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
