I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
