My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
