YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
