I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
